Elizabeth Hasselbee-otch!

An
Excerpt
from the
Personal Blog of
Rosie O'Donnell
(Queen of All Media)

-how dare that blond bimbo breeder
-imply that i dont support the troops
-simply because i keep claiming that
-they kill innocent civilians
-for halliburton
-and bush-hitler
-who was really behind 9/11

-i support the troops
-they r all fascist baby killing scumbags

-google it

-had to play the victim card
-to shut her up
-claiming evil people pick on me
-because Im fat lesbian
-instead of loudmouth limo lefty
-who hates the country that made her rich
-those evil right wingers dont pick on ellen degeneres
-just because shes skinny
-& doesnt hate america

-so what if saddam gave al-qaida
-money
-shelter
-health care
-& violated every clause of the cease-fire
-killed kurds
-killed shia
-threatened neighbors
-he didn't order 9/11
-dick cheney did
-i know the truth

-fire does not melt steel

-FIRE DOES NOT MELT STEEL

-Im the victim here

-hasselback didnt shut up when i started yelling
-how can i bully her if she fights back

-fighting back is wrong

-especially against me
-& terrorists
-terrorist just need hugs
-and amerikkka to sign the kyoto accord
-name hillary our queen
-then peace will come to the world

-i hate this country

-the fact that it allowed someone like me to become rich and famous
-makes me sick

-so dont pick on me
-point out my mistakes
-loony conspiracy theories
-ignorance of world affairs
-or ill say ur picking on me because im a fat lesbian

-elizabeth is the new mccarthy

-evil christian scumbags

-i hate u all

-y dont u luv me?

Rosie O'Donnell: They're All In On It!

AN EXCERPT FROM
THE BLOG OF
TV PERSONALITY
ROSIE
O'DONNELL

- giuliani was in on 9/11

- had sent the steel to china

- keep people from finding out that fire dont melt steel

- i know the truth

- thats why THE MAN wants to shut me up

- make me leave the view

- i have proof giuliani in on 9/11

- look at how his name is pronounced

- jew-lee-ani

- its like the davinci code

- jew for his israeli-zionist masters

- lee for robert e lee who was king of the south during the civil war who invented slavery

- ani which rhymes with Annie a musical featuring DADDY WARBUCKS a professional arms dealer and RETHUGLIKKKAN


- all will become clear when i lose the deadwood from the view

- get my own show

-hillary becomes president & pelosi bans free speech of people who call me crazy

-I AM NOT CRAZY!

- Im just smarter than everyone else

-u included

Fire Meet Steel

An
Excerpt
from the
Personal Blog
of
Rosie O'Donnell
(uncrowned queen of All media)


-tanker truck blew up in San Francisco

-destroyed overpass above it

-now people saying fire has melted steel

- i question the timing


-stinks of a set up

-all out to get me

-karl rove forced abc to deny my money demands

-made them refuse to fire barbara walters

-i'll show them

-my show biggest in history

-make more money than dr. phil & oprah combined

-they can't stop me

-i'm all powerful

-i know they used lasers & black magic

-to melt bridge

-to make me look crazy

-IM NOT CRAZY!


-they are crazy

-but im onto them

Rosie: Exit Stage Left

An
Excerpt from
the blog of
Rosie O'Donnell
(ex-queen of The View)





-i hate abc


-cheap bastards

-won't pay me $10-$40 million a year (depending on who you listen to)

-all because im rude

-crude

-and repulsive

-trump sux

-bush sux

-america sux

-cristians sux

-terrorists will leave us alone when...

- i get my own show

- hillary elected president

- sign kyoto

- i want more money!

Response Without Delay

AN EXCERPT FROM THE BLOG OF
ROSIE O'DONNELL
(Queen of The View)

Tom Delay

u suk

rly

how dare u want me fired like Don Imus

4 insulting Asians

4 accusing Bush-Hitler for making 9/11

4 demanding impeachment

u r criminal

sure u wer never convicted

only accused by politically motivated DA

but thats gud enough 4 me


u r gilty

because Democrat say so

u cant get me fired

imus was liberal

but not liberal enough

he picked on hillary

that put him on george soros shit list

he had to go

soros likes me

i stay


but abc say i gotta cut back on impeachment talk

conspiracy theories

& baseless accusations

starting 2 hurt ratings

as soon as they back up

CHING CHONG IMPEACH BUSH CHING CHONG HE DID 9/11 CHING CHONG

These Things I Believe

A PERSONAL

DECLARATION
OF PRINCIPLES
BY
ROSIE O'DONNELL
Host & Master of ABC's The View

These things I believe....

- I believe everything Republicans do is evil. Even when it's something that might save my life.

- I believe 9/11 was a conspiracy between the Bush Administration, Israel, Enron, The Secret Service, The New York Fire Department, and the Scottsdale Arizona Chapter of the Shriners. That's right, I'm on to you, you bastards!

- I believe that surrendering to fascism is the true path to peace.

- I believe that fire cannot melt steel, and that all those people who tell you that the entire steel industry is based on melting steel with fire are damn dirty liars.

- I believe that the greatest threat to democracy are people challenging my political beliefs with facts.

- I believe Christians are brutally murdering teachers for discussing evolution because I saw it on Law & Order.

- I believe that America is the source of all evil in the world because they allow someone like me on TV.

- I believe that not only Bush caused the levies in New Orleans to fail by going back in time to the 1960s and sabotaging the original design, but that he also caused hurricane Katrina to happen through some elaborate weather controlling machine hidden in Karl Rove's basement.

- I believe everything the President of Iran says, because he hates Bush and that makes him right about everything in my book.

- I believe Battlestar Galactica is the real story of mankind's origins.

- I believe that the Columbine Massacre wasn't the violent lashing out of a pair of sociopathic outcasts, but a personal attack against me.

- I believe that Khalid Sheik Mohamed is innocent of planning 9/11 and only confessed because America's fascist stormtroopers were mean to him.

- I believe that all liberal democracies want is never-ending war to feed the bloated faces of the vast neo-con military-industrial complex.

- I believe Al Gore was elected president, no matter what the ballots say.

- I believe that our soldiers overseas should have their right to vote revoked because they spend most of their time in foreign countries.

- I believe that Nancy Pelosi has America's best interests at heart when she violates the constitution to start her own foreign policy with America's enemies.

- I believe Global Warming is caused by George W. Bush, and not the sun, despite the scientific evidence.

- I believe that Hillary Clinton should be named President for Life.

- I believe the Keebler Elves are up to something.

- I believe that Barbara Walters doesn't regret hiring me for The View.

- I believe that I'm going to get my own show.

- I believe Saddam Hussein was misunderstood, and was just a nice guy trying to make peace.

- I believe I am the greatest thing to happen to the planet Earth.

These things I believe.

Popular Mechanics Are Fascist Pigs

An
Excerpt from the
Personal Blog of
Rosie O'Donnell

popular mechanix

are fascists

they are in on it

they dare to attack me

with facts!

how dare they!

don't they know i'm the queen of nice

i'm the queen of The View

America, fashist shit-pile that it is, worships me

they should worship me too

before PRESIDENT HILLARY puts them in Gitmo

in the place of those poor innocent dudes Bushitler locked up


for standing up against his evil democracy

these folks believe me

they look smart

Loose Change, google it.

it's all a conspiracy

the world will know

when barbara's gone

& the view is all mine

Rosie O'Donnell: Big Fat Idiot, Google It.

The following is an excerpt from the personal blog of TV loudmouth personality Rosie O'Donnell.

Gulf of Tonkin

google it

all a conspiracy.

same thing with those british sailors arrested by iran

Bush did it

He ordered those marines and sailor from other country

to

go to iran

get captured

tortured

executed

for excuse

to start war

to make israel happy

to steal oil


to kill babies

because dickhead cheney drinks their blood

iran has never hurt anyone

ever!

i'll

be

happy when bushitler impeached

constitution suspended

hillary named president for life

then world will be happy

global warming will end

unicorns will come back

The Truth: Through Rosie Coloured Glasses

An Excerpt From the Blog of
Rosie O'Donnell

-people mad that i accuse american Bush-hitler government of knocking down WTC with the help of the FDNY

-nazi pigs don't know the truth

-it was all a plot to destroy ENRON evidence

-sure they were all convicted and were sentenced to prison, or died, but that doesn't mean squat

-need attention, Trump fight boring everyone now

-need to downplay fascist killers

-need to only believe fascist killer when claiming USA abused them

-need to fuel prejudice against country that made me rich

-need to accuse Bush-hitler of 9/11

-need everyone to understand that columbine was ALL ABOUT ME!

-need doritos

-need hams

-need my own show

-barbra and others are dead wood dragging me down

Rosie VS The Donald: Clash of Titanic Egos

Normally it warms my heart to see too monstrous egomaniacs go at each other like a pair of raging chimps deranged by methamphetamine and too many electric shocks to the genitalia. However, this whole Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump feud is turning into what I call a case of 'media herpes' a pointless, painful running sore that never really goes away, just lies dormant for about an hour before flaring up into a nasty burning pustule on the brain.

Lately Rosie's begun attacking The Donald on her blog, and in response The Donald has started his own blog. Here's some excerpts and I must warn you, it gets ugly, and I'm not talking about looks.

--------

ROSIE'S CORNER

donald trump
donald pimp
his hair looks like poo

I can't write
so my blog looks like
bad haiku

babra is pissy
cause she won't get an
invite to trump tower
this new year's eve

damn them all to hell
they are all homophobes
because they think i'm not funny

i'm the f*cking 'queen of nice' dammit!

i'm a lesbian
and a celebrity
my opinions matter

now barbra's saying i'll be fired if i don't stop this blogging

i'm the queen of nice

choke on it and die america

----------

THE DONALD'S YACK SHACK

CATEGORY: Rants.
MOOD: Cranky
MUSIC: First We Take Manhattan -Leonard Cohen

Damn that Rosie.

It's bad enough that she bad mouths my decision to not fire Miss USA for partying harder than Lindsay Lohan on a bender, but then she bad mouths my business acumen, my hair, and my relationships.

Damn it Rosie, you were just supposed to drum up some controversy to publicize Miss USA, but you had to go too far, like the last time you visited a buffet special.

And you had to insult my hair...

Don't diss the hair Rosie.

I'm warning you.

Only an idiot with a death-wish bad mouths to Donald-do.

Remember, I'm in construction in New York.

I know people.

Bad people.

Bad people who do bad things.

So unless you wanna end up in the foundation of my next high-rise, I suggest you shut yer big fat yap.

I'm not threatening anyone, I'm just talking.

Rosie, if I was Barbara Walters I'd have only one thing to say to her...

"You're fired."

Then I'd have to sue her for breaching my copyright.

So shut up already. People are only watching you because you're like a big fat walking car wreck.