1 on 1 with Karl Rove

VOX: In keeping with my tradition of providing fake yet accurate news, I've landed an interview with the man who is on everybody's mind and the Democratic Party's hit list. No I'm not talking about the next Supreme Court nominee, I'm talking about the Architect of Bush's victory, Republican strategist Karl Rove. Welcome Mr. Rove.

ROVE: Pleased to be here.

VOX: Word is all over the media that you're the one who leaked Valerie Plame's name to the press...

(Rove starts laughing)

VOX: Did I say something funny?

ROVE: Ha-hahahahahaha. Sorry. It's just that this is all so damn silly.

VOX: They're demanding your resignation, and you think it's silly?

ROVE: It is once it all turns out to be bullshit! Hahahahah!! They're so eager to have my head on a pike that they'll believe anyone and anything that comes their way.

VOX: Are you saying that your communications with Time magazine are fake?

ROVE: Let's just say that they're real, but the way the Dim-o-crats are playing is completely inaccurate. I did discuss Wilson with them, but I didn't blow his wife's cover. All I did was tell them was that Wilson has a habit of telling different people, different versions. Besides, everybody in the press already knew her and what she did for a living for years. When the Grand Jury testimony comes out and there's nothing there, the Dumb-o-crats going to have egg all over their faces.

VOX: This is all a trap to embarrass the Democrats?

ROVE: I don't set traps. I merely allow them to trap themselves. And they fall for it everytime! Oh, it's times like these that make me glad to be a Republican. Perhaps on the day the Grand Jury wraps up I'll send Wilson, his wife, and the Democrats a nice cake. A nice yellow cake.

VOX: Aren't you worried that this interview might expose your plan?

ROVE: The Dupe-o-craps don't look at anything farther right than the Daily Kos. Those that can read. Ooooh, that sounds like something Dean would say.

VOX: Nice talking to you Mr. Rove.

ROVE: Pleasure to be here.





Your transport system's just been bombed and certain moonbat politicos are calling for a complete and total withdrawal of your troops from Iraq in order to appease the murderers.

You might as well throw in a plate of Granma's oatmeal cookies, it'll have the same effect.

There is only one way to appease Islamofascist terror, and at no cost to you I will tell you how. All you need to do is...


In order to stop this pack of decapitating bastards from setting off any more bombs you must completely capitulate to their every whim.

That means you must:
  • Convert to Wahabiist Islam.
  • Adopt the strictest interpretation of Sharia Law.
  • Force your women to wear burkas.
  • Kill all Jewish people.
  • Kill all Christians who refuse to convert.
  • Kill all Muslims who are not strict Wahabis.
  • Kill all homosexuals.
  • Destroy all music.
  • Kill all musicians.
  • Burn all books.
  • Kill all the writers.
  • Destroy all representational art.
  • Kill the artists who make it.
  • Ban liquor.
  • Destroy all the places that serve liquor.
  • Kill all the people who sell or consume liquor.
  • Declare Usama Bin Ladin your absolute and supreme dictator with the power of life and death over all citizens.
  • Pray to Allah that he doesn't get in a tiff with another supreme dictator over beard lengths or burka colours or you're back on the shit list.

It's just that easy. So it really leaves you with only these alternatives:


To do that you can't let them change how you live. Enjoy your freedoms and strike back at those who threaten them by:

  • Killing all terrorists.
  • Destroying all states and institutions who support them.
  • Insure that no one else dares to try terrorism again, under fear of a wrathful vengeance that would make the Old Testament look like a Sunday picnic.

I know it sounds harsh, but it sure beats the alternative.

Damn am I pissed off.


But seriously folks...

...this is just a thought...
...one of those random musings that occassionaly escape the snakepit of my mind...
Both of the USA's two main political parties base their philosophies on what they percieve to be 'absolute goods.' Things that they believe to be so right that they become the foundation of their beliefs.
With Republicans, the concept of 'absolute goods' tend to be ideological. I call them the '3 Fs': Freedom, Family and Faith. To the average Republican these things are the basis of what's right with this world and must be fostered and protected.
With Democrats it's different. Although they claim to be the party of wide-eyed ideology their concept of 'absolute goods' are based more on who's paying the piper. Hence the Democratic Party's 'absolute goods' are more 'nuanced.'
For them to be considered good they need the approval of dictators and thieves via the UN, the further complication of the legal system through judicial fiats, and naturally abortion on demand through all stages of development. So the Democrat's view of what's an 'absolute good' is the United Nations, Trial Lawyers, and Abortion.
And they wonder why they can't connect with average American voter.
That's enough for tonight...