10/31/2006

10/24/2006

1 on 1 With The BBC

A MOMENT OF TRUTH INTERVIEW EXCLUSIVE

VOX POPLAR- There has been much ado about the recent leakage of a report on a 'bias seminar' at the venerable British Broadcasting Corporation. It seems to confirm the belief of many of the BBC's critics that it's obsession with political correctness has turned it into a mouthpiece for any anti-British, anti-American and anti-Semitic faction out there. Joining me in the steel lined Tube of Truth to discuss this is the BBC's Executive Director for Media Attitudes, Mr. Nigel Incubator-Jones. Welcome to my blog Mr. Jones.

INCUBATOR-JONES- That's Incubator-Jones. We must do these things properly, on the up and up, as they say, pip-pip and all that rot.

VOX POPLAR- Okay Mr. Incubator-Jones. What does the BBC have to say about the recent revelation that it would be considered okay by BBC executives to televise the tossing of a Christian Bible into a dustbin, but not a Koran?

INCUBATOR-JONES- That's because of the BBC's continuing policy to not offend people.

VOX POPLAR- Wouldn't the tossing of a Bible into a trashcan offend Christians?

INCUBATOR-JONES- Ah, that's a very sticky wicket. You see there's a two point answer to that question. First point: Christians aren't blowing people up, Muslims are blowing people up, and we at the BBC do not like to be blown up. And the second point is that no one at the BBC gives a royal rodent's arse about what Christians think.

VOX POPLAR- That's a rather shocking admittance.

INCUBATOR-JONES- Not all that shocking you see. It's really quite elementary. All Christians are idiots and nothing good has ever come from Christianity.

VOX POPLAR- I can think of one thing that did.

INCUBATOR-JONES- Oh really, what?

VOX POPLAR- The Western Civilization that's prosperous and free enough to allow someone like you, who has the brain of a pea, to hold an important, high paying job at a major public institution.

INCUBATOR-JONES- Western Civilization is the root of all the... um... what's the word?

VOX POPLAR- You can't be thinking of evil?

INCUBATOR-JONES- There's no such thing as evil, just misunderstandings. That's it, Western Civilization's responsible for all the misunderstandings in the world. Like Christianity it's a vile imperialist force for destruction.

VOX POPLAR- Even though it's the only civilization that would allow someone like you to not only exist, but prosper?

INCUBATOR-JONES- Absolutely. We at the BBC believe that it's our sacred duty to bring down all that has made Britain a great nation. We must eliminate national pride, respect for the rule of law, all religions, except Islam, for that will be offensive, and all sense of decorum and social decency.

VOX POPLAR- In other words Britain's will to live.

INCUBATOR-JONES- Exactly. Any culture that allows complete arse-heads like me run a national public broadcaster needs to brought down.

VOX POPLAR- What about accusations that the management of the BBC has lost touch with the greater British public?

INCUBATOR-JONES- That's a load of tosh. Why I speak to my butler every day, at least twice, and just the other day I told my new chauffeur directions to my club in Pall Mall. Now who's out of touch.

VOX POPLAR- Okay, let's move on to allegations, apparently confirmed by the leaked documents, that the BBC is anti-American. What do you say to these allegations?

INCUBATOR-JONES- Of course we're anti-American. Americans are rude, foul, dirty creatures who cause nothing but destruction, chaos and death.

VOX POPLAR- Interesting that you bring up the word 'rude' because a recent survey put New York, once considered the rudest city in America, something like 18 or 20 places above London on a scale of good manners.

INCUBATOR-JONES- Good manners are over-rated. Besides America insists on defending itself and trying to spread that thing called democracy wherever it goes. Plus those bloody Colonials are big friends of Israel.

VOX POPLAR- What's wrong with that?

INCUBATOR-JONES- Between you, me and the lamp, Israel is crawling with Jews. That's simple not cricket.

VOX POPLAR- What's wrong with the Jews?

INCUBATOR-JONES- Everything. They have the unmitigated gall to desire their country where they expect to live in peace, and then they have the poor manners to defend themselves when they're attacked. That's simply not snooker, it's not even billiards!

VOX POPLAR- I'm starting to think that you're insane.

INCUBATOR-JONES- I would have to agree with you on that. I am most likely stark raving mad. I mean the whole attitude at the BBC is one of cultural suicide, especially when faced with the imperialist attitudes of the radical Islamic fundamentalists. But I have a government job, so there's nothing anyone can do to get rid of me.

VOX POPLAR- Well, thanks for a very revealing interview.

INCUBATOR-JONES- My pleasure.

10/22/2006

Aunty Beeb is Anti-British?

That's what a lot of folks have been saying for years. Now it's official after the contents of an 'impartiality summit' of high BBC execs & media figures was leaked. Read about it here.

There's lots of inane revelations, like how it would be okay to toss a Christian Bible into a trashcan, but not a Muslim Koran, and how female Muslim newsreaders should wear veils. All kinds of stuff showing political correctness run amok. Political correctness that endangers the very liberties it needs to exist.

Will the leaking of this report lead to any change at the venerable Beeb?

Probably not.

If there's one thing I've learned about the political left and the politically correct, it's that they are completely unable to learn anything that exists outside their narrow prejudices.

Sad but true.

PS: I'm hoping to book a Moment of Truth interview with a BBC executive, just as soon as I can get one willing to go inside a giant metal tube.

10/17/2006

BRING OUT YOUR DEAD: 1 on 1 with The Lancet

VOX POPLAR- 654,965 people are dead in Iraq. At least they are according to a study recently published by British Medical Journal The Lancet. To discuss this I'm going one on one with The Lancet's assistant editor for politically motivated epidemiology Doctor Hector Proctor. Welcome to my blog Dr. Proctor.

DR. PROCTOR- Nice to be here.

VOX POPLAR- Now is this latest study like the one that came out a couple years ago claiming that US forces killed over a 100,000 Iraqi civilians with the infamous 'give or take 90,000 people' caveat in the footnotes.

DR. PROCTOR- Not in the least. This study was conducted under the strictest scientific guidelines, proving our case beyond a shadow of a doubt.

VOX POPLAR- So this is not like the incident in 1995, where a letter to the editor of The Lancet by Sarah Zaidi and Mary C. Smith-Fawzi claimed over 567,000 Iraqi children died 'as a consequence' of the sanctions imposed on Saddam's government in 1990.

DR. PROCTOR- What are you getting at?

VOX POPLAR- Well from the end of the first Gulf War to the start of the Iraq War, that statistic was cited repeatedly as an excuse to end the sanction regime by the 'pro-peace' crowd. However, they quickly changed their tune when Bush offered to end the sanctions by toppling Saddam.

DR. PROCTOR- Toppling Saddam made it worse, as our study shows. Just under 600,000 people died because of the sanctions, and a further 700,000 died because of the war.

VOX POPLAR- So statistically it would have been better to leave Saddam alone.

DR. PROCTOR- Exactly.

VOX POPLAR- Even though over a million people died when he was left alone?

DR. PROCTOR- That's a questionable statistic derived from massacre reports, Saddam's archives, and counting the dead in mass graves. Hardly a truly scientific method.

VOX POPLAR- Were all these people killed by direct military action by America and it's allies?

DR. PROCTOR- By our studies, only a third of these innocent people were killed by the imperialist US forces and their international lackeys.

VOX POPLAR- What about the other two thirds?

DR. PROCTOR- 24 percent of deaths were cause by other actors, and a further 45 percent by other unknown forces.

VOX POPLAR- That's almost 70% of the dead. That's more than two thirds, that's almost three quarters.

DR. PROCTOR- Yes, but claiming that Americans killed almost a third of the innocent people sounds more ominous than a little over a quarter.

VOX POPLAR- The joy of fractions defining factions. What percentage of the people killed by the allies were terrorists?

DR. PROCTOR- What's a terrorist?

VOX POPLAR- You know, crazy guys, like to set off bombs in mosques and markets, behead aid workers, incite ethnic violence, that sort of thing?

DR. PROCTOR- We don't believe in the existence of terrorists.

VOX POPLAR- Even though they are committing acts of terrorism right in front of you?

DR. PROCTOR- That's a politically loaded term. We prefer to classify such people as 'civilians' since they don't wear the uniform of an army.

VOX POPLAR- So anywhere between zero and one hundred percent of the people killed by direct American action could be violent Jihadi terrorists, and that thousands of lives are saved because they're not acting as 'others' and 'unknowns' and killing real civilians?

DR. PROCTOR- That's not for us to decide.

VOX POPLAR- What's The Lancet's official position on accusations that the study is biased because your editor, Dr. Richard Horton, is prominent in the Stop The War coalition of leftist and Islamist groups?

DR. PROCTOR- We don't believe that a person's desire to see his nation defeated in a war by radical violent Islamists does any harm to his scientific objectivity.

VOX POPLAR- So you stand by your claim that almost 700,000 people have died 'because of the war?'

DR. PROCTOR- We stand by our assertion that 6,549,659 have died because of America's imperialist war of aggression.

VOX POPLAR- Wait a minute. Did you just bump the number up to 6 million?

DR. PROCTOR- Don't be silly.

VOX POPLAR- Okay.

DR. PROCTOR- I meant to say 7 million.

VOX POPLAR- Now you're getting crazy.

DR. PROCTOR- The deaths of 77 million people in Iraq because of America's war of aggression is crazy.

VOX POPLAR- Wait a minute. You just said 77 million, that's almost 4 times the real population of Iraq. Why should we believe anything you say?

DR. PROCTOR- Because I'm a scientist that's against Bush. That's all you need.

VOX POPLAR- This has been very enlightening. And to my readers, it goodbye for now, and see you soon.

10/14/2006

What a difference a party makes.

Gerry Studds, the first openly gay Congressman in American history died today.

I think it should be fair to history to note that he didn't choose to be openly gay. That choice was made for him in 1983 when it was discovered that in 1973 he had a sexual relationship with an underage male page.

Now that scandal has caused some to compare him to Rep. Mark Foley. However those comparisons are unfair.

Foley only sent e-mails and instant messages to a page, who claims to have been 18 at the time they were written, but they didn't engage in any actual sexual activity.

Studds had actual sexual intercourse with an underage page.

Foley was hounded out of Congress, and out of the Republican Party.

Studds, a Democrat, was re-elected and served in Congress till 1997.

Now I'm not saying that Mark foley is being treated unfairly.

In fact Foley deserves to be tossed to the wolves.

However....

Studds deserved to be tossed to the wolves as well.

Both men did wrong.

Both showed a supreme unfitness to serve as lawmakers. Both showed extreme poor judgement in controlling their baser appetites and both violated, if not the letter of the law, the spirit of simple moral decency.

However, Studds was a Democrat. You never ask Democrats to resign over the shame they've brought to their office with their behaviour. That would violate their 'rights' and it would make you a bigot to expect them to act with the same sort of decorum you would expect from everyone else.

If Foley was a Democrat, would there be any of this 'controversy' in the media? Or would they treat it like Harry Reid's shady land deals and give it the barest glance?

What a difference a party makes.

10/10/2006

CHINA'S TURN


IN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT BY
HU JINTAO
PRESIDENT OF THE
PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA


Greetings readers of this blog. I am here to discuss the recent revelation that China's brother in revolution, Kim Jong-Il has engaged in the testing of a nuclear weapon...

Ah, crap.

Listen, dudes, can we just talk turkey for a minute and get rid of all this diplomatic legalese bullsh*t?

Groovy.

Okay, so like everything's going all smooth sailing for me and my comrades in Ye Olde People's Republic. The economy's going great guns, we're getting ready for the Olympics, and we're jerking around you silly Americans by selling god-knows what to those nutty Iranians, which is a laugh and a half. Then that little monkey's pecker Kim Jong-Il goes and does that whole nuclear test thingie, even though I specifically told him not to.

But he went and did it anyways.

COMPLETELY HARSHING MY MELLOW.

Now the UN's taken a break from having it's peacekeepers pimping out kids to start hooting and hollering about sanctions and stuff, I'm popping antacids like frigging candy, and Kim's in his palace with that smug sh*t eating grin on his face.

Jeez, he's like that guy who always has to crash the party and ruin everything for everybody by getting loaded and p*ssing in the punchbowl.

I mean we want to keep the Yankee swine-dogs on edge, but this might put them over the edge and into full 'Say 'ello to my li'l friend' Scarface blasting everybody mode.

It's all a question of balance dudes.

I don't need this you know. I got a pretty good deal going here, and that little donkey-turd has to go and ruin it.

I don't know what to do. Part of me says I should wash my hands of that little mongoose-nugget and move on. It's tempting, but we're all old communists, and with old communists, old habits die hard.

Just ask Putin in Russia.

Oh well, I got some heavy thinking to do.

Catch you on the flipside dudes.

Ted Turner is Nutty Than A Pound of Squirrel Turds Part Deux

Ted just doesn't know when to shut up.



Now there are those out there who say that patriotism and objectivity can't coexist.

I think that's a big steaming pile of youknowwhat.

Besides, it's not like the MSM is being objective anyway. They go out of their way to present the American government and the War Against Islamic Fascism in the most negative light, even to the point of making stuff out of thin air to justify their opinions.

So what if they waved the flag a lot during the early days of the war? It didn't seem to mean much to them anyway.

PS: Here's an ad supposedly by David (Airplane) Zucker for the Republicans that was considered too harsh, but is now a viral video.

What The Bloody Hell Is Going On Here!?!

A SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTARY
by the
Rt. Hon. JOHN HOWARD
Prime Minister of Australia

G'day mates.

I was all set to put another shrimp on the barbie with the missus, if ya know what I mean, when I got word that li'l chum-chucker Kim Jong-Il went and did some sort of atom-bomb test.

CRIKEY!

Somebody ought to grab that li'l bastard and give him a swift what-for right in the diggeridoos. Where does he get the unmitigated wombats to go setting off atom bombs like they were farts at a Tory fundraising dinner.

That's why I'm announcing that Australia is pulling out all the stops and putting sanctions on North Korea.

No more Vegemite for you, ya bastards!

And if anyone should be mad, it's those blokes in China. The bloody Norks are supposed to be their bumboys, and not bringing the world to the brink of a frigging nuclear holocaust. Sheesh mates, old Kim's gone and pissed in China's ear and told them it was rainin'.

Are they gonna take that like a weak li'l Sheila, or are they gonna act like they got goolies to spare?

So let's join together and declare to the world that Kim Jong-Il's a right bloody arsehole with a tool the size of peanut, and smack him about the head and arse until we knock some sense into him.

Thank you, and G'Day.

10/09/2006

IT'S OFFICIAL

TED TURNER
IS NUTTIER THAN A POUND OF
SQUIRREL TURDS




Here's a little suggestion when it comes to choosing a side in this war against Islamic Fascism:

Pick the side of the culture that allowed an obviously erratic, possibly bipolar, hillbilly with a Clark Gable fetish become a billionaire instead of the culture that would put his severed head on a pike for not having the right beard.

Just a suggestion.

10/05/2006

Iran's Meat Beat Manifesto.

Supreme leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran, Ayatollah Sayid Ali Khameinei, has banned masturbation during the month of Ramadan.

Does this mean that he, his fellow ayatollahs, and their catamite Ahmadinejad will have to leave politics, because they're a bunch of wankers?



"I hereby declare that it ain't sweet to beat your meat!"

10/04/2006

A Little Bit O'Funny.

They posted this up at Pyjamas Media and I thought it was very true...




Click here for a song by Rep. Mark Foley. Warning DEFINITELY NSFW.

10/03/2006

MUST SEE TV!

Part 1


Part 2


Part 3


Part 4

10/02/2006

1 on 1 With Keith Olberman

VOX POPLAR- Hello, and welcome to my blog. Today I'm going one on one with MSNBC host, political pundit, and living proof that you don't need talent to make it in showbiz Keith Olberman. Welcome.

KEITH OLBERMAN- Good to be anywhere that's not reeking with the stench of FoxNews.

VOX POPLAR- No, but since you walked in, I am catching a whiff of old cheese. But let's get to business. Recently Fox News President Roger Ailes said that Clinton's outburst at interviewer Chris Wallace was an 'assault on all journalists.' You responded with a 'special commentary' that called Mr. Ailes various kinds of 'fat' eight times in seven minutes. What do you have to say to that?

KEITH OLBERMAN- Are you questioning my journalistic integrity?

VOX POPLAR- That, as well as your judgement and your sanity. You still haven't answered my question.

KEITH OLBERMAN- I'm just calling it as I see it. Roger Ailes is fat.

VOX POPLAR- I don't think his weight problem has anything to do with the issue of former President Clinton attempting to bully Chris Wallace for asking him the exact same questions he asked Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleeza Rice.

KEITH OLBERMAN- You don't see the point! Rice and Rumsfeld deserve to be asked tough questions! Fox News reveals that it's the tool of a fat devil by asking the beloved and saintly Bill Clinton tough questions.

VOX POPLAR- There you go again.

KEITH OLBERMAN- What?

VOX POPLAR- "Tool of a fat devil." You're supposed to be a headlining political pundit, yet your first response to a serious question of journalistic ethics is to resort to childish name calling.

KEITH OLBERMAN- I am not childish! You sound like one of those people who work for Mr. Fatty-Fatty-Fat-Fat down at Fox! Liberals don't get asked tough questions that's the rule! Fox News is breaking that rule and it will lead America to fascism!

VOX POPLAR- Okay, now you lost me. You're saying that allowing opposing sides to openly discuss an issue will lead to fascism. Are you high?

KEITH OLBERMAN- Fatty.

VOX POPLAR- What?

KEITH OLBERMAN- Fatty-Fatty Two-By-Four, can't fit through the kitchen door.

VOX POPLAR- So now you're going to call me names?

KEITH OLBERMAN- Lard-o, fat-ass, big-buttzilla!

VOX POPLAR- How about I call you a loudmouth dumb-ass who couldn't win a debate with facts so he panders to the lowest common denominator in the left with name-calling that could be called retarded, but that would be an insult to the retarded of the world.

KEITH OLBERMAN- You see. Another example of the Right-Wing Bloggers destroying debate in this country. How can America avoid the slippery slope of Republican fascism if people like this are running around practicing free speech?

VOX POPLAR- You couldn't get more loony if you were a Canadian billionaire's piggy bank.

KEITH OLBERMAN- Bill O'Reilly is Hitler! Please, won't somebody who won't make fun of me watch my show. Please.

VOX POPLAR- That's all the time we've got for now. I gotta go and Keith Olberman needs to take his meds. Goodbye.