ADSCAM: The Stuff 'The Man' Didn't Want you to Know!

Sure the publication ban's been lifted but there's still stuff that The Man (aka Paul Martin) doesn't want you to know about the sponsorship Program. So here's a few fact that the Canadian MSM is sitting on, and you can only get them here, your only source for the truth!

• Alfonso Gagliano is not one person, but, in fact, two midgets inside a cleverly constructed suit.
• Chuck Guite shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy.
• Belinda Stronach is hot. (it has nothing to do with the scandal, I just felt like saying it.)
• GroupAction is actually a politically connected advertising firm based in Quebec, not the title of a saucy French porno movie.
• Jean Chretien has names written on his balls. No, really, he does.
• Not only was the sponsorship Program a big honking scam, it was also a poorly run scam.
• No matter what happens Bombardier will still be sucking on the Federal teat.
• Belinda Stronach really should break up with Peter MacKay and immediately shack up with a certain ruggedly handsome blogger named after a tree. ....nudge nudge wink wink...
• Now matter how incompetent, corrupt, or abusive the Liberal Party gets, they will still win Ontario.
• The sponsorship Program really did unite the country. Too bad it was in our disgust with the Liberal Party.
• Jean Chretien in completely incomprehensible in both official languages.
• Quebec will never leave Canada, because then they'd have to prop up their own failing industries and have no one to endlessly bitch at.
• They would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids!