Random Ramblings 2...

THIS JUST IN: SADDAM'S UNDERPANTS!

The world is in a tizzy after a Brit tabloid printed photos of ex-Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein in his cell, dressed only in his tighty-whities. One question came to my mind, Why would anyone want to post a picture of Saddam in his undies in the first place?

But that's not what others are doing. Saddam's lawyers want him either released or paid a million spondoolicks for the indignity of having him spread out like a centerfold for 'Doughy & Hairy Men Monthly.' And the US Military is investigating because such pics are a clear violation of both their security, their policies and their sense of good taste.

Now I can help them find out who took the photos and we can use Saddam's own habits to figure it out.

1. The pics weren't taken on a Thursday, because Saddam likes to call it 'Thong-day.'
2. They weren't taken on Saturday, which is the day Saddam 'goes commando.'
3. Saddam was doing his own laundry. Something he only started doing last month because the prison laundry stopped using his favourite 'Mountain Fresh' fabric softener.
4. The pictures was taken over a week ago, before he got his 'Belinda 4-Ever' tattoo.
5. The photos had to have been taken the day British MP George Galloway was testifying before the American Congress, because his nose wasn't wedged up Saddam's ass.

Follow these simple clues, and I'm sure that the US Military can catch the culprit and punish them horribly for putting the image of Saddam's beer-gut in everyone's mind.

THIS JUST IN: AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL PUTS IT FOOT IN IT

Human Rights Organisation Amnesty International has just fallen off their moral high-horse and bumped themselves on their collective noggin. They've decided to start a crusade for Jeremy 'AWOL' Hinzmann who deserted his unit and is now clogging up the already dysfunctional Canadian refugee system.

Apparently Amnesty International thinks it's wrong for someone to spend 5 years in prison just because they committed a legally recognized crime. Their reason, George W. Bush is a Republican.

Forget the raped women and starved children of Darfur, forget the imprisoned Christians in Saudi Arabia, forget the oppression of free speech in Venezuela, they all have to drop everything because there's a Republican in the White House.

Get a grip.

THIS JUST IN: BILL MAHER'S BIG FAT MOUTH

Bill Maher is being criticized by a Republican congressman. Apparently the Congressman was watching Monsieur Maher's show and saw Maher say that all American soldiers were like renegade goon-ette and chronic genital pointer Lindey England.

I was shocked to see just how ignorant, insensitive and anti-American Bill Maher is, but I was even more shocked to find out that somebody actually watched his show.

Yeesh.