5/22/2005

Random Ramblings 1.

Hi folks, sorry to have gone so long without posting, (rehab takes a lot of time) but I'm back, I'm as bad as ever. So here's the news as I fake it up like an issue of Newsweek.

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PETER MACKAY'S TO-DO LIST

Canada's all atwitter over the defection of Belinda 'Heartbreaker' Stronach to the Dark Side.... I mean the Liberal Party. Much attention is also being paid to her ex-lovemonkey Peter 'Don't Call Me Sweetheart' MacKay.

MacKay recently stated that he was going to spend the parliamentary break 'healing' and spending time with his 'loyal' dogs. Well that's not all he's got planned. I've found his 'To-Do List.'

  1. Get rip roaring drunk and spend the night crying and listening to my collection of old Loverboy and Platinum Blonde albums.
  2. Plant potatoes in my dad's garden. Which takes less bullshit that you find in Ottawa.
  3. Tear up letters addressed to 'Spanky.'
  4. Walk dogs. They're loyal... not unlike a certain...
  5. Have 'Belinda Forever' tattoo lasered off my right ass-cheek.
  6. Cry again.
  7. Post naked pictures of Belinda on the internet.
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NEWSWEAK
Is it just me or did the editors and fact-checkers at venerable rag Newsweek fail to spot a fundamental question in their Korangate investigation.
Is it really possible to flush a book, any book, down the toilet?
That's why I propose this simple test.
  1. Purchase a paperback book, any book, as long as it matches any holy book in heft and size. A big John Grisham or Tom Clancy paperback will do.
  2. Go to the offices of Newsweek Magazine in New York City.
  3. Sneak into the private bathroom of the magazine's editor-in-chief.
  4. Put book in editor's private toilet bowl.
  5. Flush.
  6. Run like hell.

Try it and see what happens.

1 comment:

dave bones said...

check the reaction in London