VOX POPLAR: Welcome loyal angry loners, today we're going to take a dip into the realm of the paranormal. Renowned psychic, mentalist, astrologer, and head fry cook at Big Daddy's House of Shrimp, the Incredible Zbornak is here to use his amazing abilities analyzing politics. Welcome Mr. Zbornak.
ZBORNAK: It's good to be here.
VOX POPLAR: What are you going to do for us tonight?
ZBORNAK: I'm going to get answers from the spirit world for the questions in these envelopes without even looking at what's inside.
VOX POPLAR: Sounds cool.
ZBORNAK: May I have the first envelope...
(holds envelope to head)
I'm getting a title... "The Impotence of Being Earnest."
"What would you call a movie about the International Atomic Energy Agency and it's head Mohammed Baradei winning the Nobel Peace Prize?"
VOX POPLAR: You sir are correct. Ho-ho-ho. Now the next envelope.
ZBORNAK: I'm getting a message... It's a menu... "Sacrificial lamb served with a side order of crow, and the desert is the real main course."
"What are George W. Bush's real plans for the Harriet Miers nomination?"
VOX POPLAR: Intriguing. Here's the third envelope.
ZBORNAK: I'm getting a vision. "She's promising to stay, only so she can leave..."
"What is Hillary Clinton telling New York voters?"
VOX POPLAR: Hah. You sir are correct! And now the fourth envelope.
ZBORNAK: I'm getting a vision. "It's Dubya's fault."
"How will the media cover natural disasters in the future?"
VOX POPLAR: You sir are correct. Incredible. Now the fifth envelope.
ZBORNAK: Hmmm... This is a quote from Shakespeare. "A tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
"What do you think about Howard Dean's latest statements?"
VOX POPLAR: Is there anything the spirits don't know?
ZBORNAK: Where I left my car keys. The final envelope please.
(holds envelope to head.)
I'm seeing a vast open space... nothingness...
"What is Zbornak being paid for this appearance?"
VOX POPLAR: Wow. The spirits do know all.
ZBORNAK: Cheap bastard.