The Poplar Report #2

Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Blogosphere and all her sites in cyberspace, let's go to press...

Playwright and political crank Harold Pinter was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. The Nobel Committee says that it was for his distinguished career and not for his rabid anti-American statements. Second place was a tie between rapper Kanye West for his Katrina telethon tirade, Saddam Hussein for his detective novels, and a thousand monkeys who sat at a thousand typewriters and one of them wrote something that kinda looked like: "Bush is a Weenie."

The investigation into the collapse of the New Orleans levee during hurricane Katrina has many experts believing that it was caused by soil erosion around a foundation that was improperly installed over forty years ago. However since George W. Bush was only a kid then, the media has decided to ignore it.

America has pledged over $300,000,000 in aid to Pakistan and Afghanistan in the wake of a massive earthquake. So far, the billionaire princes of Saudi Arabia, who in the past have held telethons for suicide bombers, have pledged the steam off their pee. The American Media has decided not to cover the story anymore since they can’t blame the earthquake on George W. Bush.

PBS program FRONTLINE has produced a documentary called "The Torture Question" that posits the theory that the yahoos at Abu Ghraib were actually performing some sort of unwritten government policy. This is the same program that turned down a documentary about Al Qaida’s treatment of prisoners called "The Decapitation Question."


Obnoxious billionaire Mark Cuban has put his considerable fortune behind a film that presents a sympathetic, even heroic view of an Islamic suicide bomber who blows up grand Central Station for revenge against evil America. His next foray into cinema will be a romantic comedy about Adolph Hitler and Eva Braun called "What Holocaust?"

Spike Lee announced on CNN that he is planning on making a film about the flooding of New Orleans. He says that it will follow the facts of the case and will involve George W. Bush and Karl Rove going back in time in Professor Peabody’s WayBack Machine to sabotage the levee. The producers hope that unlike Lee’s films from the past decade, someone might actually pay to see it.

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