11/10/2006

I Gotcha Runnin' Now Ya Biatches!

A Special Guest Commentary
by
Abu Hamza al-Muhajir
(Commander of Al-Qaida in Iraq)



Yo there imperialist infidel swine-dogs! It's me Abu Hamz al-Mujahir, AKA Abu Ayyub al-Masri, AKA the Old Dirty Jihadi, AKA the Future Sultan of Iraq. Just droppin' my to give a big shout-out to those cats in the Democratic Party. Good to see you do so well in that there infidel election thing of yours.

And I'm wishing you Democratic cats all the best of luck doing everything you can to completely cripple your "lame duck" president and destroy the war effort. Khamenei in Iran's doing it, so why can't I daddy-o?

However, I do have one question.

When the soonest you can get the ball rolling in destroying the war effort and Iraq's fledgeling democracy?

You see, we can't wait much longer for you to impose insane withdrawal timetables, paralyze your country's government with budget battles and pointless impeachment investigations over how many times Bush farted the day he ordered Saddam to be overthrown, and block every Bush nominee, regardless of qualifications, because we're getting our asses kicked.

No, I'm being serious here. For every one of your boys that gets killed in Iraq, I'm like losing 10. That ain't healthy. I know you believe that Bush is making more terrorists, but if you look at the short bus rejects we're forced to take as Jihadi recruits, you'd think differently.

And if though it sticks in my craw to ask for help from a woman too whore-like to wear a burqa I really need your Queen Pelosi to put the proverbial pedal to the metal and get this war lost.

Because if you Democrats don't lose the war, we will.

And you Democrats can't allow that.

Can you?

Anyway, death to America, death to the infidels, you'll all perish in a river of blood, yadda-yadda-yadda, I gotta run.

Literally.


Smell you later, dudes.

1 comment:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Makes you wonder who is more dangerous...

Great job, BTW. LOL