A TRANSLATED EXCERPT FROM THE PERSONAL BLOG OF MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, PRESIDENT OF IRAN
MOOD: Cranky >:(
MUSIC: Fergalicious -Fergie.
Sometimes I think Allah has one sick freaking sense of humour. Just when I think everything is going my way and the world is getting Ahmadinejadized, getting ready for the horror, death, and destruction that will bring back the Mahdi, something like this turns up.
Those whiny little beotchess in Iran's parliament have voted to shorten my term by almost a year.
Why the hell are they even voting about anything in the first place? Iran's an Islamic Republic, voting is not supposed to actually mean anything!
I know whose behind it. Those punks in parliament are all Rafsanjani's little catamites, he put them up to it. All because I had his cat, Mr. Snuggles, beheaded for looking at me funny.
And now I'm in dutch with my bosses over seeing some unveilled female dancers in Qatar at the opening ceremony of the Asian Games.
What did they expect me to do, get all rude and storm out.
No way. I've got a little class. I politely sat through the show, and when it was over, I ordered the dancers and their families slaughtered like the dirty whore-goats they are.
Is there no place for a gentleman in today's Iran?
Looks like I gotta step up my nuke program if I'm going to get the river's of blood the voices in my head are demanding. I'm pretty sure the voices belong to Allah, who else could it be?