Rosie VS The Donald: Clash of Titanic Egos

Normally it warms my heart to see too monstrous egomaniacs go at each other like a pair of raging chimps deranged by methamphetamine and too many electric shocks to the genitalia. However, this whole Rosie O'Donnell/Donald Trump feud is turning into what I call a case of 'media herpes' a pointless, painful running sore that never really goes away, just lies dormant for about an hour before flaring up into a nasty burning pustule on the brain.

Lately Rosie's begun attacking The Donald on her blog, and in response The Donald has started his own blog. Here's some excerpts and I must warn you, it gets ugly, and I'm not talking about looks.



donald trump
donald pimp
his hair looks like poo

I can't write
so my blog looks like
bad haiku

babra is pissy
cause she won't get an
invite to trump tower
this new year's eve

damn them all to hell
they are all homophobes
because they think i'm not funny

i'm the f*cking 'queen of nice' dammit!

i'm a lesbian
and a celebrity
my opinions matter

now barbra's saying i'll be fired if i don't stop this blogging

i'm the queen of nice

choke on it and die america



MOOD: Cranky
MUSIC: First We Take Manhattan -Leonard Cohen

Damn that Rosie.

It's bad enough that she bad mouths my decision to not fire Miss USA for partying harder than Lindsay Lohan on a bender, but then she bad mouths my business acumen, my hair, and my relationships.

Damn it Rosie, you were just supposed to drum up some controversy to publicize Miss USA, but you had to go too far, like the last time you visited a buffet special.

And you had to insult my hair...

Don't diss the hair Rosie.

I'm warning you.

Only an idiot with a death-wish bad mouths to Donald-do.

Remember, I'm in construction in New York.

I know people.

Bad people.

Bad people who do bad things.

So unless you wanna end up in the foundation of my next high-rise, I suggest you shut yer big fat yap.

I'm not threatening anyone, I'm just talking.

Rosie, if I was Barbara Walters I'd have only one thing to say to her...

"You're fired."

Then I'd have to sue her for breaching my copyright.

So shut up already. People are only watching you because you're like a big fat walking car wreck.

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