The Great Zbornak Sees All, Tells All, Knows Nothing!

VOX POPLAR: Welcome. Today we have our old friend, mentalist, psychic, seer, and head fry cook at Duffy's Seafood Shanty The Great Zbornak. If this is the first time you've seen such a demonstration, I will give the Great Zbornak a sealed envelope that contains a question. Zbornak will use his amazing mental powers to see the answer before he even knows the question.

ZBORNAK: May I have the first envelope please?

(Holds envelope to head)

ZBORNAK: I'm getting a reading... The answer is "The Ever-Changing Story."

(Vox opens envelope)

VOX POPLAR: And the question is: What is going to be the title of Ambassador Joseph Wilson's next book about his mission to Niger? Hi-yo!

ZBORNAK: The next envelope please.

(Holds envelope to head)

ZBORNAK: I can see the answer. The answer is... "Not Guilty By Reason of Incompetence."

VOX POPLAR: And the question is: What will be the verdict in the Duke Lacrosse rape trial? Next envelope.

(Zbornak holds envelope to his head)

ZBORNAK: I'm getting a reading... The answer is "Something Disgusting."

VOX POPLAR: And the question is: What will Tom Cruise do after his child is born?

ZBORNAK: Next envelope please.

(Holds envelope to head)

ZBORNAK: I can see the answer. The answer is... "Cynthia McKinney's office? Down the hall and third door on the left."

VOX POPLAR: And the question is: "What will the Capitol Police do the next time a crazed gunman shows up?"

ZBORNAK: Next envelope.

(Holds envelope to his head)

ZBORNAK: The answer is... "Washed Up & Whining."

VOX POPLAR: And the question is: What should Neil Young call his new album of anti-Bush protest songs? Hi-yo! You sir are correct! Next envelope.

(Zbornak holds envelope to his head)

ZBORNAK: I can see the answer... the answer is: "42."

VOX POPLAR: Let's see. The question is: "What is the combined IQ of all Hollywood celebrities who claim to be political experts?" Hi-yo!

(Zbornak holds final envelope to his head)

ZBORNAK: I can see the answer. The answer is... "Trillion to one."

VOX POPLAR: And the answer is: "What are the odds of Zbornak getting paid for this appearance?" Wow, you are good.

ZBORNAK: Bastard.

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If you have a question about the future and what it may hold then ask it in the sassback section and the Great Zbornak himself will answer it. He predicted I would place 6th in the GOP & The City Caption Contest and he was right. I even beat out Wyatt Earp.