Who the hell am I?

I recently stumbled upon the blog IMAO (hat tip to Michelled Malkin's blog) and he has posted a test where bloggers of the non-moonbat persuasion can answer frequently asked moonbat questions.  So, I'm going to dump the last shred of my dignity and take the quiz.


1. Who the hell do you think you are?

I'm Vox Poplar.  I'm a large sentient poplar tree deep in the woods of Canada.

2. So, other than blogging, what's your job? Do you work at some fast food joint, dumbass?

I'm a sentient tree, there ain't much call for that at the Dairy Queen.

3. Do you have like any experience in journalism, idiot?

I was rejected from journalism school.  Something about having ethics and a desire to adhere to facts.  Besides, I don't even claim to be a journalist, just a loudmouth with a lot of opinions and a small time blog.  So who's the idiot now?

4. Do you even read newspapers?

I'm a tree, most of my family ended up as newspapers.  You can be a cruel bastard!

5. Do you watch any other news than FOX News propaganda, you ignorant fool?

I can't get Fox News.  The Canadian government banned it because a commentator said something impolite about our then Prime Minister.

6. I bet you're some moron talk radio listener too, huh?

The only radio signals I get are the ones the Romulan Empire pumps through my fillings to get into my brain.  But I showed them, my mighty tinfoil hat will protect me!  Bwah-hah-hah!

7. So, do you get a fax from the GOP each day for what to say, you @#$% Republican parrot?

What do I have to do to make you understand, I'm not a parrot dumb-ass, I'm a poplar tree.

8. Why do you and your blogger friends want to silence and fire everyone who disagrees with you, fascist?

I don't want them fired... okay, maybe out of a cannon, but that's for amusement purposes only.  On a professional level I just want them to start telling the truth for once and not blame their problems on Karl Rove.

9. Are you completely ignorant of other countries, or do you actually own a passport?

I have several passports and none are under my real name.  It's essential when you're an international man of mystery.

10. Have you even been to another country, you dumb hick?

I've been everywhere.

11. If you're so keen on the war, why haven't you signed up, chickenhawk?

For some reason the military is prejudiced against sentient trees enlisting.  Bigoted bastards.

12. Do you have any idea of the horrors of war? Have you ever reached into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face?

Once.  But he was infested with termites, not a victim of war.

13. Have you ever reached into any pile of goo?

Yes, and there's a very funny story about it, involving a wombat, a refrigerator, an ill tempered mongoose and a bowl of jello, but you don't want to hear that now...

14. Once again, who the hell do you think you are?!

I'm Vox Poplar, and I'm always right about everything.  Stick that in your Hunter S. Thompson memorial hash pipe and smoke it.

1 comment:

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