3/16/2005

1 ON 1 WITH...

....PROFESSIONAL PROTESTOR MILTON W. MOONBAT

This weekend will mark the 2nd anniversary of the US led invasion of Iraq. During those two years we've witnessed the first free Iraqi election, the capture of Saddam Hussein and the steady spread of democracy to other parts of the Arab world with the Cedar Revolution in Lebanon and the coming of multi-party elections in Egypt, and the rise of pro-democratic dissent in Syria.

To honour these momentous events the American Political Left are going on a massive nationwide protest. The protest is to declare the liberation of Iraq a criminal act and to demand that the USA pull out its troops and the country be immediately handed over to Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi.

Joining me tonite is professional protestor Milton W. Moonbat who will tell us the logic and reasoning behind this protest.

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VOX: Welcome Mr. Moonbat, may I call you Milton, or Mill?

MOONBAT: Milton is my white male oppressor name. My true Indian name is just Moonbat.

VOX: I didn't know you were an American Indian. In fact I didn't know there were many Native Americans from Greenwich Connecticut.

MOONBAT: Just because I was born to an Anglo-Saxon Episcopalian family doesn't mean that I accept their fascist ways. I have a deep spiritual connection with the Native Americans, even though I've never actually met one.

VOX: Oh, you're a member of the Ward Churchill Tribe. That makes perfect sense. Now let's get to the subject at hand. You oppose the war that liberated Iraq and has apparently caused a 'domino of democracy' to start in the Middle East. Can you explain your position?

MOONBAT: The war against the peace-loving, kite-flying Iraqi Leader Saddam Hussein was a criminal act built upon the lie of there being WMDs in his possession.

VOX: Isn't that interesting. The New York Times just ran a piece claiming that there actually were WMDs in Iraq, and that somehow it's Bush's fault that Saddam hid them or sold them before his government was toppled. So I guess you have the wrong information.

MOONBAT: Maybe he did have a WMD program, but that still doesn't justify the invasion! No blood for oil! No blood for oil!

VOX: What should have been done. Would you have preferred it if he nuked Tel Aviv?

MOONBAT: Bombs are wrong, unless they're strapped to the mentally handicapped kid and sent into a crowd of civilians in the name of resistance against American Oppression! Fight the power!

VOX: Then what should have been done?

MOONBAT: The UN should have handled it.

VOX: The same UN whose minions profitted hugely from the Oil for Food Scam, the same UN that's currently facing accusations of mass rape by its peacekeepers, the same UN that is currently doing nothing to end the slaughter in Darfur.

MOONBAT: Did Karl Rove send you!?! You see that's the kind of racist thinking that makes the USA the rotting cesspool of evil that is today. We should more like France.

VOX: You mean double the unemployment, quadruple the taxes, prop up dictators for our own profit, invade small African countries for their resources, obstruct anything concrete in the UN, blame Israel for everything, and keep our Muslim population isolated in crumbling and crime ridden ghettos?

MOONBAT: Gannon's real name is Guckert and he's a homosexual!

VOX: What does he have to do with Iraq?

MOONBAT: You really are Karl Rove, aren't you! Let this be a warning to all you crypto-fascist pigs! We're hitting the streets and we're going to bring down this evil government!

VOX: Are you planning an armed uprising?

MOONBAT: No, guns scare me. Instead, the Wymyn's Anti-War Brigade is going to have a mass panty flash at Central Park. That'll show them.

VOX: I'm sure it will.

MOONBAT: All hail Michael Moore!

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