A Special Guest Commentary by

Richard Belzer

Hello folks.

I'd like to thank Vox for letting me blog in his place, especially since he's all busy trying to get people to send comments to his Ask Uncle Vox column and needs someone to fill his shoes. George Clooney was going to do another one, but his secretary went on vacation, leaving him unable to write it for himself, keyboards scare him, so I stepped in.

Now a lot of you bloggers are giving me six kinds of shit over my declaration that I know more about the state of the Iraq War than the soldiers on the ground. Now my comments have been taken out of context, so allow me to explain.

I do know more than the soldiers on the field because I'm an actor and comedian.

There, does that explain it, you drooling inbred flyover country fucktards?

It better, because I'm sick and tired of trying to explain such a simple concept to the mush brained church sucking morons who everyday face death and destruction to preserve the country and culture that gave me a good living by being a sarcastic asshole.

Oh, you still don't get it.

What a bunch of Jesusland dwelling shitwads.

Okay, I make my living as an actor and comedian. I've done everything from Law & Order: SVU to Lois & Clark.

Actors know everything about everything.

It's as simple as that.

Sure we may not have much in the way of education, or real world experience, and we tend to lead very sheltered, if not downright reclusive lives, communicating only with other actors, or people who work for us, but we still know more than you and will always know more than you.

That's why when I call our soldiers a bunch of dimwitted hillbilly morons, I'm right. Oh sure, you can show me a bunch of statistics saying that the majority of people in our military are well educated people from the middle and upper middle classes of the social spectrum. Well I have one thing to say about that!

Who got to you?

Was it the conspiracy between the Illuminati, the Freemasons, the Jesuits, the Grey Aliens, and the Elders of Zion, (known collectively as The Man) or their agents in Halliburton and the RethugliKKKan Party?

Come one, fess up you shit-eating bastards!

Only a minion of those dark forces would dare challenge my broad assertions about the people serving in AmeriKKKa's military with something as lame and inane as facts.

That's why I stand against our military and the fascist state of AmeriKKKa that they uphold, and don't you dare call me unpatriotic! We'll all be better off when AmeriKKKa's enemies take over and we can be truly free from the thuggish Republicans and their fascist ways.

I must be right, because what kind of a sick country would allow someone like me to become rich and famous?

1 comment:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

When he puts it that way it just made me decide to vote Dimocrat from now on...


Great job, Vox!