The Poplar Report!

Greetings and felicitations blog-readers. Here is the news...

A recent survey shows that almost 50% of Americans have a negative view of Islam and believe that Muslims are prone to violence. When asked to comment on these results the spokesman for the group Wahabbi Holy Alliance for Communication, Knowledge & Openness Imam Mustapha Ba'ath declared: "Those attitudes are an insult to Islam and must be met with brutal and bloody vengeance! They must all die!!!"

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Slobodan Milosevic is still dead.

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Civil war in Iraq is inevitable. It could start at any minute.

No, really, it's coming...

I'm sure of it...

Was that it?

Nope, that was a cat.

Still, it's coming, we're pretty certain.

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Actress and pop-tart Lindsey Lohan declared that she'd do a nude scene if it would win her an Oscar.

Insert your own joke here.

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The British Interior Minister had to lecture British soccer 'fans' to be more polite when they're savagely beating up people during the upcoming World Cup in Germany. Stating that they should not mention the war or engage in their usual witty repartee of Hitler salutes and Nazi jokes.

They are still permitted to call the French wine-sodden, cheese-sucking, surrender monkeys.

Ah, the British, such class.