WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION?

I saw a piece in the paper the other day where 200 children went to a party at Neverland Ranch hosted by washed up entertainer, self-proclaimed 'King of Pop' and accused pedophile Michael Jackson.

 

This makes me want to ask one question of the parents of these children:

 

*Best R. Lee Ermey Bellow*

WHAT'S YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!?!

 

You'll have to pardon my rough language, but I just can't understand the dust clogged, unoiled machinations of your mind.  The man is accused of molesting a child, and even if he's innocent of that charge he's still a sad character trapped in a demented childish world of his own invention. 

 

He's got nothing to offer these children except the promise of a potential whopping cash settlement, which by seeing the daily reports of fresh lawsuits against the middle aged Peter Pan, is looking pretty unlikely that you'll ever collect.

 

And those parents better not tell me that it's their kids that want to visit this cracked vision of a middle aged man's broken childhood.  That's so screwed up and divorced from reality, it could be an election exit poll.

 

You'll be pretty hard-up to find anyone under 25 who even remembers his music career, let alone admit to being a fan.  I'll bet dinars to donuts that the bulk of these children haven't even heard of Michael Jackson, and probably don't have a clue of what it is he's done. 

 

This whole affair reeks of parents looking to bask in the faded glow of The Gloved One.

 

These parents could only have one of two motives.

 

1.  The parents are hoping that the allegations are true, and are looking for an opening for a whopping lawsuit, or maybe some celebrity hush money.  But like I said earlier, you gotta get in line for the gravy train.  Everybody and his cousin from Newfoundland is suing Jacko for everything from unpaid bills to services not rendered.  He's probably already broke and living on the fumes of his former fiscal glory, namely a sizeable credit rating.

 

2.  The parents are living in a delusional state where they look at a pale, surgically mangled, androgynous, man-child, and see, in their mind's eye, the cute little boy who sang and danced with the Jackson 5.

 

Either way, they have no business putting their children in what could be a harmful situation.  I don't know if he's guilty or innocent, I'm not on the jury, and I don't know the full story.  However, if I was one of his big money legal team I'd have told Jacko that the last thing a man on trial for pedophilia has no business having is a party for 200 children in the house that was just searched for evidence of child molestation.

 

Even if he's innocent, it looks bad, not just for him, but for the parents of those children. 

 

Looks like a lot of people need a reality pill, for the sake of the children.

 

That's enough for tonight, talk among yourselves...