2/20/2006

Stop to Smell the Roses of the Prophet Mohammed


An Announcement by
Mahmoud Amadinejad
President of the Islamic Republic of Iran

Howdy-ho folks.

I'm here to talk about something really important. No, I'm not talking about Cheney's hunting accident, even I was disgusted by how the media handled it, and I'm not talking about my own plans for global nuclear apocalypse. I'm here to talk about those nasty Danes.

As you know we, the ever wise rulers of Iran, have taken a few moments from supporting terrorism, making nukes, and general misery spreading, to rename what were formerly known as Danish Pastries to The Roses of the Prophet Mohammed.

Now we're not going to stop there. Hell, no, there are way too many countries that piss us off with their freedom of speech, individual liberty, and high standards of living. So here are the new names for various foods:

French Croissant: The Moustache of the Prophet Mohammed

French Bread: The Left Arm of the Prophet Mohammed

Italian Bread: The Right Arm of the Prophet Mohammed

Italian Spaghetti: The Hair of the Prophet Mohammed

Italian Bow-Tie Pasta: The Bow Ties of the Prophet Mohammed

Norwegian Lutefisk: The Chunder of the Prophet Mohammed

Canadian Back-Bacon: The Backside of the Prophet Mohammed scratch that

Yankee Pot Roast: The Pot Roast of the Prophet Mohammed

Boston Cream Pie: Pie of the Cream of the Prophet Mohammed

American Beer: The Urine of the Prophet Mohammed

American M&M Candy: Mecca & Medina Candy

Danish Havarti Cheese: The Toe-Jam of the Prophet Mohammed

German Bratwurst: The Wang of the Prophet Mohammed (100% Beef Only)

There, I hope I made myself clear, and I hope that all of you in the west learn that the only path to true tolerance is complete and total submission to our will.

Toodles and death to the Infidel!

~Mahmoud.

3 comments:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Heh.
You have a fatwa comin'... ;)

Nice job, Vox!
Toodles.

fmragtops said...

"The Wang of The Prophet Muhammed" That's funny.

Sairah said...

Wow, I guess I'm the first commenter to be disgusted by this post, but oh well. You won't be ashamed of it regardless of what I say so there's really no point in saying it, but I just wanted to let you know that I didn't approve of it (for what it's worth).