The Assault on Treason Reason
A
PAID POLITICAL
ANNOUNCEMENT
BY
ENVIRONMENTAL PROFITEER &
FORMER VICE PRESIDENT
AL GORE
My fellow Democrats and all you folks in flyover country. I am here to warn you of a grave danger that threatens America.
It's not terrorists.
It's not Kim Jong Il and his nuclear bombs.
And for once, it's not Global Warming. Even though that will destroy you all if you do not bow down and worship me!
It's people who are criticizing my new book The Assault on Reason.
All I can say is:
I am Al Gore.
I possess all knowledge.
I can predict the weather of 50 years in the future with 100% accuracy.
I have a freaking Oscar!
I am a GOD compared to you measly little Republican pukes and you dare to use your propaganda machine at Fox News to smear my mighty name.
So what if I play around with a few facts.
So what if I rewrite history about the Clinton administration, of which I was Vice President, believing in Saddam's WMDs as strongly as the Bush Administration.
So what if I make broad claims, mostly devoid of any actual facts. I'm trying to sell myself to the Kos Kids and Soros-suckers who currently control the Democratic Party so I can swoop in and seize the Presidential nomination from the Ice Queen herself, and after that, the White House.
I've already got people worshiping me as some sort of climate mastering deity, so why shouldn't I have the political power to go with it.
Screw Christianity, the Church of Gaia is the new faith, and Al Gore is its prophet.
So what if all my predictions are wrong, and that Earth is now entering a cooling phase, thus turning all my stances on their ear.
The general public will never know.
I've got the media so far up my butt, Katie Couric can tell you the condition of my colon. They accept everything I say as gospel, which it is, and never question my selective editing of history and science in order to sell books and questionable carbonindulgences offsets, making me rich.
All except those fascists at Fox News.
When I am yourKing President, I will join with the permanent Democratic Majority to pull Fox's license so they will no longer pollute the air with facts, figures, and history.
So accept my rule.
It's not terrorists.
It's not Kim Jong Il and his nuclear bombs.
And for once, it's not Global Warming. Even though that will destroy you all if you do not bow down and worship me!
It's people who are criticizing my new book The Assault on Reason.
All I can say is:
HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!!!
I am Al Gore.
I possess all knowledge.
I can predict the weather of 50 years in the future with 100% accuracy.
I have a freaking Oscar!
I am a GOD compared to you measly little Republican pukes and you dare to use your propaganda machine at Fox News to smear my mighty name.
So what if I play around with a few facts.
So what if I rewrite history about the Clinton administration, of which I was Vice President, believing in Saddam's WMDs as strongly as the Bush Administration.
So what if I make broad claims, mostly devoid of any actual facts. I'm trying to sell myself to the Kos Kids and Soros-suckers who currently control the Democratic Party so I can swoop in and seize the Presidential nomination from the Ice Queen herself, and after that, the White House.
I've already got people worshiping me as some sort of climate mastering deity, so why shouldn't I have the political power to go with it.
Screw Christianity, the Church of Gaia is the new faith, and Al Gore is its prophet.
So what if all my predictions are wrong, and that Earth is now entering a cooling phase, thus turning all my stances on their ear.
The general public will never know.
I've got the media so far up my butt, Katie Couric can tell you the condition of my colon. They accept everything I say as gospel, which it is, and never question my selective editing of history and science in order to sell books and questionable carbon
All except those fascists at Fox News.
When I am your
So accept my rule.
OR ACCEPT YOUR DOOM!
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