8/17/2005

It’s All very Simple Really...


A Special Guest Commentary by Noam Chomsky

I proffer my salutations and most effusive acknowledgment of a multitudinous gramercy to Mr. Poplar for vouchsafing me to offer my erudite & accomplished opinions in his stead. I hope to make this the most araphorostic transition found in the realm of feasibility.

I regularly perambulate the governmental environment of the United Fascist States of Amerikkka like many a meandering gyrovague afflicted with poriomania despite having no real training in political science and only my status as a professor in a field related to grammatolatry to present myself as more of a polyhistor. However, that hasn’t prevented me from passing acrimonious determinations on Amerikka and its graveolent plutomaniacal autocracy that wears the affectations of a democratic state the way a profane quean wears fishnet stockings.

Amerikka, a nation so flagitious, it coerced me to levogyrate even though it is the only locality where I can have a vocation as a respected though rarely fathomed academic and make millions of pernicious dollars a year as a speaker, author and pundit. Any place that allows someone like me to become a millionaire, is obviously the perpetuation of the cabal between Nazi Germany and Israel and must be destroyed as instantaneously as possible.

The Amerikkan Fascist hyperpower and its nolimetangeretarian policies towards such beneficent and tolerant people like Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi’s insurgents and the forward thinkers and philosophers of the Taliban can only be liberticidal for the entire world. It inspires in me a Herculean motive to be the official rectalgia of the Crypto-Fascists and annihilate their plutocracy so strongly that it will never repullulate.

We must expurgate the procrustean jargoneers in Washington and Tel Aviv who seek to macerate the entire celestial body that we designate our habitation, say lenvoy to their intemperate phallocentric warmongering, and embrace esteemed philosophers of freedom like Pol Pot and Fidel Castro. Then the world will be swept up in a wave of perichareia that will usher in an era of true harmony and manumission.

Who’s with me?

-Noam Chomsky

3 comments:

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

That's funny.
And it sounds like that blowhard, too!

a4g said...

The parumonious asholophony of the corugundumous prelation of this temporaneous exegesis is clearly your last trainwreckerous bitchslide, Chomsky.

a4g said...

Oops. 'corugundumous' should read 'corugundamous'.