8/13/2005

Vox's Mailbag #1


We get letters...
We get letters...
We get stacks and stacks of letters...


Actually, since this is an electronic medium it's actually mostly e-mails. And because I'm exhausted from my Save Air America Blogathon, let's do something easy and open up the electronic mailbag too see what goodies are inside.

Our first letter comes from Professor Dwayne Q. Diddlebock, Professor Emeritus of White Male Oppression Studies at the University of Greenwich in Connecticut.

Mr. Poplar

If that is your real name, I am writing to declare that your site is a disgusting and offensive display of the ignorance that runs rampant among the hate-filled fascist right wing goat f**kers who all deserve to die by having their genitals soaked in gasoline and set on fire while being garrotted with their own Bible Belt.

Your support of such fascist institutions like democracy, free speech for non-Democratic Party leaders, and academic freedom makes me want to puke. It's people like you, who know nothing of history, who were the reason why Napoleon founded the Nazi Party in 1954.

Please throw yourself in front of a bus immediately.

Sincerely - Dwayne Q. Diddlebock

Okay.

To answer your question, Vox Poplar is not my real name.

Vox is, in fact, short for Vauxhall. My parents Albert Poplar & Mary Maple were big fans of English automobiles.

Our next letter comes from Ambassador Alphonse Obombatumba of Nigeria.
Dear Mr. Poplar
I am writing to offer you a very lucrative business opportunity. For a simple investment of $50,000 you can have a share of the lost treasure of Mobutu Sese Seko worth over $100,000,000,000.
Sincerely- Ambassador Alphonse Obombatumba
Wow. That's very kind of you Mr. Ambassador, but all my money's tied up and I need $15,000 to pay the cash richness transfer fees.
Our next letter comes from Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee.
Dear Mr. Poplar
I am deeply offended by your portrayal of me as some kind of screaming lunatic who keeps saying stupid things. It's the exact sort of things those evil lazy drug-dealing glue-sniffing goat molesting white Christians would say in their diabolical plan to destroy the world. We'll show you when Hillary's elected and the Internet's regulated by the UN and true democracies like China, Syria, and Iran.
YYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sincerely Howard Dean
Thanks for the input Chairman Dean, I stand corrected.
And thanks to all the people who bothered to write, keep those e-mails coming, because I crave the attention.
Until next time!

2 comments:

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Vox Poplar said...

Thanks for the kind words, but since you're nothing but a spam-bot, I hope the person who created you gets his balls slowly ripped off by rabid weasels.

that goes for any idiot dumb enough to fall for one of these comment spammer scams.