8/12/2005

Air America Charity Spectacular Day 3: The Revenge of the Sith

VOX: My 3rd straight day on this blog-a-thon. No sleep, no food, and since Tim Robbins backed up the toilet, no bathroom breaks. But I think it's worth it, let's check the big board!

TOTAL PLEDGES: -$000,875,000.00.

VOX: Wow, 875 grand! That's about what was snookered out of the Boys & Girls Club. I'd like to take this moment to thank all of you whiny liberals. Your pledges will be dedicated to the cause of making America feel bad about itself.

DIRECTOR: Vox, that's minus $875 grand. The show's in debt.

VOX: Son of a bitch. Well, if you want big money, then you must whip out the big gun. And they don't come bigger than Michael Moore!

MOORE: Hi everybody, I'm rich, so I must be right!

VOX: That's right Mikey, can I call you Mikey?

MOORE: Peasants must call me Mr. Moore.

VOX: All right. Mr. Moore, you made a lot of money off Fahrenheit 9/11. How about spreading some of that love to your pals at Air America.

MOORE: Hell no. Designer jeans with a balloon seat don't come cheap. (checks watch) Gotta go, there's a Hilary fundraiser at P. Diddy's. Bye, ya losers.

Moore leaves.

VOX: That's it for me. You're on your own Air America. Maybe you get a piece of the Niger famine relief. Take us out Alanis... Goodnight everybody!

ALANIS: (to the tune of 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina')
Whining & bitching, complaining, coddling terrorists
Why God, Why?
Complaining, stealing from poor children, Air America
Why God, Why?
What have I done to deserve this Democrat Blue horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Air America
Like a Al Franken character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?
Destroying the Democratic party, whining & bitching, Franken cranking
Why God, Why?
Air America, Franken cranken, coddling terrorists
Why God, Why?
What have I done to deserve this Democrat Blue disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Air America
Like a Al Franken character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?
What have I done to deserve this Democrat Blue misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of Air America
Like a Al Franken character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?

The Vox Poplar Charity Spectacular for Air America was brought to you by these sponsors.
The Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club
The P-U Charitable Truss
The Senator Robert Byrd Foundation for Racial Harmony
Al-Jazeera
Dan Rather
The Theresa Heinz Kerry Foundation for Progressive Tax Shelters
The Association of PETA Puppy Stranglers Local 237
Osama Bin Laden
The Kim Jong-Il Foundation for Eliminating the Poor
&
Viewers Like You
Thank You
Suckers...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.