VOX POPLAR- Since everyone's busy reveling in the recent demise of Abu-Musab Al Zarqawi I've decide to take a look at a story that is being overwhelmed by the recent victory against terrorism. I'm talking about Lt. Ehren Watada. Until recently he was a junior officer, but then he got the call to deploy for a tour in Iraq and all of a sudden he decided that a career in the military wasn't for him. So to get to the bottom of this issue I now present this fake, but accurate interview with Lt. Ehren Watada. Welcome to my blog.
EHREN WATADA- It's great to be here. Great to be anywhere but Iraq.
VOX POPLAR- I wouldn't say that if I was the one heading to Leavenworth.
EHREN WATADA- What?
VOX POPLAR- Nothing. Let's cut to the chase. After you graduated college you joined the Army's Officer Candidate school, you graduated that program and was commissioned a Lieutenant, am I right?
EHREN WATADA- That's right.
VOX POPLAR- Now you did all this after America went to war in Iraq, and all of a sudden you declare the war to be illegal, immoral, and fattening, and refuse orders to go. Why did you make this sudden leap from eager beaver junior officer to craven deserter?
EHREN WATADA- Well, there were a lot of lies told when I joined the Army.
VOX POPLAR- About the causes of the Iraq war?
EHREN WATADA- No, about Army life. IT'S FULL OF PEOPLE WHO CARRY GUNS! Can you believe it! And they got tanks and fighter planes going around all over the freaking place, I mean somebody could get hurt!
VOX POPLAR- So your defense on the charge of desertion is not that you're not just a coward, but also an idiot.
EHREN WATADA- I wouldn't go that far.
VOX POPLAR- I would. Now how do you respond about some folks who look at your case and see a shameless political stunt engineered by your father?
EHREN WATADA- This is not a stunt! I am acting completely on my own.
VOX POPLAR- So your father, anti-Vietnam war activist, and Democratic Party gauleiter for Hawaii, hasn't talked you into doing all this to subvert the morale of your comrades while helping his political buddies score points?
EHREN WATADA- Absolutely not!
VOX POPLAR- So you're a coward?
EHREN WATADA- No! I'm showing great courage by taking this stand against the fascist USA and its Rethuglikkkan dictatorship!
VOX POPLAR- I'd disagree with that. You are in fact showing enormous stupidity to choose Leavenworth over service in a country that has a lower fatality rate than peacetime life in most major American cities. So the only logical explanation I can think of is that your politically connected Pappy talked you into a little season of treason so he can win points with his Move On buddies while harming the war effort. No doubt he's promised some sort of extrajudicial intervention from his political friends to save your sorry excuse for a hide. Isn't that it?
EHREN WATADA- You're not nice at all, and I don't even know the meaning of the word extra-prudential. I'm leaving!
VOX POPLAR- What's the matter, scared?
EHREN WATADA- No, I'm taking a stand. And I'm taking that stand the way my Daddy taught me, the Democratic Party way.
VOX POPLAR- You're going to run away?
VOX POPLAR- He ran away. Go figure. See you next time folks.