Bleat The Press: The Dark Side of the Blogosphere

VOX POPLAR- Welcome everybody to the first edition of Bleat The Press, where Vox Poplar, that's me, has a roundtable discussion with the folks who dwell on left side, or wussy, side of the political spectrum. Joining me today are:

Markos Whosis of the Daily Kos

Jason Leopold of OuttaTruth.Org

Filmmaker & cheeseburger connoisseur Michael Moore

Former attempted comedian turned failed radio pundit Al Franken

Actor, poster-boy for mandatory helmet laws, and Islamofascist propaganda tool Gary Busey

and a Chimp named Mr. Banana.

Welcome everyone. First up: Weapons of Mass destruction.

DAILY KOS- Bush lied, screw 'em!

JASON LEOPOLD- Bush lied, and he has been secretly indicted for it!

MICHAEL MOORE- Bush lied, and sat there for seven minutes listening to some ugly little bastard read 'My Pet Goat!'

AL FRANKEN- Bush lied, won't someone please listen to my show!

GARY BUSEY- What?

MR. BANANA- Hooha-hooha!

VOX POPLAR- What do you say about recently declassified documents that show that Saddam Hussein did have illegal chemical weapons in violation of UN sanctions. In fact just one of these declassified documents show the discovery of over 500 artillery shells filled with Sarin and Mustard Gas.

DAILY KOS- That means nothing. Screw'em!

JASON LEOPOLD- The soldiers who found those shells and Senator Santorum who made their report public have been secretly indicted for perjury. It's a fact!

MICHAEL MOORE- I like mustard on my hot dogs. Hmmmm.... hot dogs.

VOX POPLAR- Watch the drool puddle. Al Franken?

AL FRANKEN- Won't someone please listen to my show? I'm begging you!

GARY BUSEY- Where am I?

MR. BANANA- Hoohaha!

VOX POPLAR- Okay, next topic, and this one's for Daily Kos. You've recently come under fire over questions regarding not only your integrity, but your political judgement, intelligence and sanity as well. And this is coming not only from the usual suspects on the right, it's also coming from old liberal stalwarts like The New Republic. What do you think?

DAILY KOS- They're all a pack of Leiberman licking Neo-Con Nazi Thugs who molest goats, children, and are thoroughly, and without question worse than Hitler! I say screw'em!

JASON LEOPOLD- I have proof that the entire staff of The New Republic has been secretly indicted for treason against Al Gore!

MICHAEL MOORE- Hmmm.... goat.... with mustard... tasty...

AL FRANKEN- I'll talk about this on my show, if someone would please listen to me! For god's sake!

GARY BUSEY- Who are you people?

MR. BANANA- A-hoo! Ha-hoo! Ha-ha-ha!

VOX POPLAR- Now come on. Let's try to get back on topic. Now political discourse on the left side of the blogosphere has been defined by childish name calling, comparing everyone to Hitler, and hypocrisy in the field of human rights and national security. What do you say about that?

DAILY KOS- You're nothing but a goddamn puppy-boning crypto-fascist baby-killing Neo-Con sucking Leiberman-loving Fox News watching Nazi-slave to the Zionist Conspiracy!

JASON LEOPOLD- I have proof that you have been secretly indicted on charges of being a scum-sucking dirtbag!

MICHAEL MOORE- Hmmm... indictments... with mustard....

AL FRANKEN- You're a son of a bitch because you don't listen to my show! Like the rest of this goddamn planet! I'm just too good for you bastards!

GARY BUSEY- I think I wet my pants.

MR. BANANA- I don't believe the childishness of these people. I'm leaving.

(Mr. Banana leaves in a huff)

VOX POPLAR- I don't believe it. You grossed out the monkey. His idea of debate is tossing feces at people!

DAILY KOS- Hey, we're the only people out there with the truth. Not those Nazionists over at Fox News. The former editor of the New York Times says so!

VOX POPLAR- The man who had to resign over repeated phony news stories?

DAILY KOS- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

MICHAEL MOORE- Hmmm... monkey feces...

JASON LEOPOLD- That monkey is under secret indictment on charges of being Jack Abramoff's love slave!

AL FRANKEN- Nobody loves me.

GARY BUSEY- Why are my pants wet?

VOX POPLAR- I think you all just proved my point. Let's move onto the hypocrisy. Why is every program to counter terrorism considered evil?

DAILY KOS- Because any defense of this fascist heap of a country is evil! Especially if it's done by Republicans!

JASON LEOPOLD- I have proof that all Republicans and anyone who defends the USA has been secretly indicted on charges of murder.

VOX POPLAR- That's it. You people are a pack of self-pitying conspiracy mongering America hating moonbats. You would rather live under a fascist state than show any support for the country that allows you to live freely. You accuse the USA of atrocities whether there's evidence or not, and openly coddle, if not out-rightly support those who kill and oppress without reason. The monkey is right, I'm getting the hell out of here!