1 on 1 with the RCMP & CSIS about the Canadian Jihad Case

VOX POPLAR- Welcome back. Now both of my regular readers probably know that I recently interviewed a representative of the RCMP, and it didn't go all that well. So to clear the air about the investigation into the alleged terrorists and their alleged plots I'm joined by Inspector Ed Widget of the RCMP and from the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service, a senior operative who, for matters of security will be called Agent Number Two, even though his real name is Dwight Hassenpeffer and he lives at 322 Hottentot Lane in Ottawa. Welcome to my blog.

INSPECTOR WIDGET- It's good to be here.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny whether it's good to be here or not.

VOX POPLAR- Okay. Let's get right to the heart of the matter. How is the investigation into Canada's homegrown jihadis going?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Nobody said anything about there being any jihadis in Canada. As far the RCMP is concerned, there is no jihadist activity in Canada.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- In the interest of national security I can neither agree or disagree with Inspector Widget's statement.

VOX POPLAR- How can you say that there is no jihadist activity in Canada. According to reports these men planned to blow up several landmarks, gun down people on the street, and kidnap and behead the Prime Minister of Canada?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- It is our belief that the planned mass slaughter was a way of expressing political and social discontent, and in no way connected to jihadist movements in the Middle East and Afghanistan.

VOX POPLAR- How do you explain the presence of Zaynab Khadr, of Canada's infamous Khadr family, showing up at their court appearance to lend support to the accused? Her family's is wrapped up in the al Qaida movement literally up to the eye-slits in her burka. First her father, Achmed Said Khadr, was a major fundraiser for al Qaida terrorism, one brother was paralyzed fighting for the Taliban in Afghanistan, and another one is locked up in Gitmo for killing a US Army medic. Osama Bin Ladin was a guest at her wedding in 1999, and last year your own RCMP seized materials from her that proved to be a treasure trove of intelligence on al Qaida.

INSPECTOR WIDGET- It is possible for Ms. Khadr to have a life outside of her work for al Qaida. I have a life outside of the RCMP.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny having a life outside of my work.

VOX POPLAR- I'm not talking about golf or stamp collecting. I'm talking about backing Islamic terrorism abroad, and then showing public support for terrorism in what's supposed to be her home country-

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Stop with the "I" word there mister.


INSPECTOR WIDGET- We don't like people using that word when it comes to describing the suspects.

VOX POPLAR- What word?

AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm, nor deny which word it is.

VOX POPLAR- Wait a minute. Are talking about "Islamic?"


AGENT NUMBER TWO- We can neither confirm or deny our displeasure over the use of the word "Islamic" to describe these suspects.

VOX POPLAR- This is that whole Constable Stubble thing again isn't it. Why is the RCMP and CSIS so unwilling to use the word Islamic to describe what is obviously a classic example of an Islamic terrorist plot?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- We do not wish to create the image that Islamic peoples are somehow prone to violence and connected to terrorism. That would be offensive to Muslims. And offending Muslims could result in getting a lot of people killed.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- We can neither confirm or deny that offending Muslims will result in death threats or violence.

VOX POPLAR- So if they're not driven by Islamic fundamentalism, what made these people do what they are accused of doing?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- We don't know, the suspects come from a broad strata of society, and apparently have no connection to each other.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- CSIS can neither confirm or deny the possibility of some sort of extra-terrestrial mind control device being used on them.

INSPECTOR WIDGET- And with that as our best theory, we're a bit buffaloed as to motive.

VOX POPLAR- Wait a minute, are you saying that all the thousands of man-hours spent on this investigation and you have no idea as to their motive or how they were brought together?


AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny the use of the word exactly.

VOX POPLAR- Meanwhile everybody else in the world can see that they are all Muslims and that all attended the same Toronto mosque. A mosque that had fallen under the control of the conspiracy's alleged leader.

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Like I said, they represent a broad strata of society.

VOX POPLAR- So being all of the same religious affiliation and attending services at the same place of worship is just a coincidence?


AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny that.

VOX POPLAR- Why do I get the feeling that we're going around in circles here?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Sometimes truth can be circular.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- Oooh, Zen... I mean, I can neither confirm or deny if what my colleague just stated was Zen or not.

VOX POPLAR- If religion isn't important to this case and to the suspects, why did your officers undergo special training in the handling of Korans and special plans were made to provide Islamic prayer materials in their cells?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Just another coincidence.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny the existence of the phenomenon of the coincidence.

VOX POPLAR- So, in your opinion, there's no need to look into the larger Muslim community around the suspects with whom the openly preached violent jihad and publicly discussed religious justifications for suicide bombings?

INSPECTOR WIDGET- Absolutely none, because any request for Canada's Muslim community to excise the jihadist cancer that is rapidly destroying it from the inside would be considered considered offensive to Muslims.

VOX POPLAR- I think we've gone as far you can without going completely nuts.

AGENT NUMBER TWO- I can neither confirm or deny that.

VOX POPLAR- Goodbye for now and see you next time. Hopefully I'll have something that will make sense by then.

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