11/23/2004

Dan Rather Goes Stupidly Off Into the Night...

CBS News Anchor and Democratic Party fundraiser/mouthpiece Dan Rather is leaving his post on March 9th, the 24th Anniversary of him inheriting the job from professional grey eminence and poster boy for willful blindness Walter Cronkite.
He leaves his anchor desk under a cloud. Shot down by the rising tide of bloggers who fact check everything. The 'pajama wearing' pundits fact-checked his bogus National Guard documents into a national scandal. Most folks say they lost respect for Dan Rather when that scandal broke.
I myself have to say that I lost any respect, which was little a long time ago. I read a piece a few years ago that said that CBS News was cutting the bulk of their foreign correspondents who used to be the backbone of the organisation.
Why?
Apparently they wanted to renew Dan Rather's contract and needed the money to fulfill his salary demands.
And he had the temerity, the sheer brass ones to declare that he was a journalist and that the truth came first.
That's as true as those Texas Guard Documents, and that Al-Qaqaa story he tried to sway the election with.
What came first with Dan Rather was Dan Rather.
He was the star of CBS News and the show had nothing to do with news or even CBS it was all about Dan and glorification thereof.
They covered what Dan wanted covered.
They presented it the way Dan wanted it presented.
And if he played fast and loose with facts or the network's mythical objectivity, than so be it.
He's Dan and he can do whatever the hell Dan wants.
Now CBS is going to need another talking head to fill in the time between ads for Viagra and Maalox. Top of the list of talking heads is Canadian John Roberts. Roberts is a former MuchMusic Video Jockey who actually has some real journalistic credentials including awards for his documentary on the death and funeral of Reggae legend Bob Marley. Rumour has it that he's been waiting for Rather to retire for years, but old Dan thought he was going to be in that chair forever.
Gee... I wonder if Roberts ever visited a Kinko's in Texas?
I smell a conspiracy... and I've got documents to prove it!
Sure, they're written in crayon, but I know they're real and prove a vast right-wing conspiracy!
You believe me Dan won't you!!
If we blame it on Bush will you believe me then!?!
Come on Dan!
You'll believe anything!

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