Saddam, you really are an idiot.

Don't take this the wrong way Saddam, I know you've been going through a rough patch, what with losing your dictatorship and being caught in the political equivalent of an outhouse pit, and you can't have any more fun with your boys Uday and Qusay torturing raping and pillaging, but I just have to say this.

• Saddam Hussein, you are an idiot.
• You're a major idiot.
• Dumber that a sack of hammers.
• Thick as a brick and half as smart.
• Have as much good sense as a block of wood.
• You're dumber than a convention of idiots being held in the Stupidville Convention Centre.
• If your IQ was room temperature Celsius, we'd have to turn up the furnace.

Not only did you run one of the most potentially wealthy countries into the ground, you then picked a fight with the USA and now you're waiting for the new Iraqi government to pick a time for your televised hanging.

And here's the good part. You stole 21 BILLION DOLLARS from the Oil for Food scam and the best escape route you could come up with was a hole in the ground. If I was you I would have never picked a fight with the Yanks in the first place, but if I did end up looking at an imminent invasion, I'd be in Switzerland with a new face and passport identifying me as Abdul Al-Abu, a retired oil salesman from Jordan who is lookingfor a nice sunny place to spend his prosperous autumn years.

But I'm not you, I actually have a few functioning brain cells.

Do yourself and the world a favour and end it all, because your stupidity is contagious. It's spread to those so-called insurgents in Fallujah.

What a dumb-ass.