Blaming Bush is a Slam Dunk!


(former Director of the CIA)


I'm a little uncomfortable doing this whole 'Moment of Truth' commentary, and it's not because I'm locked in a steel tube covered with strange machinery and weird arcane symbols that render me unable to lie. I've spent my entire career in Washington, so I've never had much experience with telling the truth.


A lotta folks are dumping on me for dumping on Bush in my latest book. But look at it from my perspective.

I was a grade-A screw-up.

Really, I was.

I blew just about everything I was even remotely involved with.

That does not bode well if you're looking to pad the old pension with a book deal and a consulting spot with a news network.

Then my old colleague Michael Schueuer told me what to do.


That's right. All I had to do was blame Bush for all my bloopers, bleepers and boners, and I'd be on easy street, with book deals, invitations to all the right parties, and a movie deal where I'll be played by George Clooney. Sure, nobody outside of Al Qaida will pay to see it, but it's still pretty cool.

The formula is simple. Make up some stories claiming that the evil Bush-Halliburton-Zionist conspiracy forced me to lie to force America into war, completely contradict everything I've ever said before, and I go from zero to hero in two seconds flat.

Sure, none of it is true, but it's what the media and the Democrats want to be true. They'd believe me if I said that the Bush Administration was secretly controlled by a cabal of leprechauns that live on a diet of stolen oil and baby blood. It doesn't matter what every intelligence agency on the planet and Saddam himself said, if it makes Bush looks bad, they'll buy it wholesale.

All it takes is the complete abandonment of my ethics, patriotism, sense of duty, and basic decency.

It was just that easy.

Now can I get out of this damn tube?

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