What, me sorry?

A
PAID
POLITICAL
ANNOUNCEMENT
BY THE
REV. AL SHARPTON

Hello Whitey.

It's me, the Reverend Al Sharpton, uncrowned king of America's black population and I'm here to talk about folks who have the unmitigated gall to dare to criticize me over my campaign to fire liberal radio shock-jock Don Imus.

Don Imus, the worst racist in the history of all humanity, is now saying that I should apologize for my condemnations of the Duke Lacrosse team over what is now known to be a bogus rape charge.

Doesn't he know who I am?

I'M AL SHARPTON BEEOTCH!

That means I can say anything I want against whoever I want, and nobody has the right to criticize me over my inflammatory rhetoric, my lying, my grandstanding, or my ongoing infantalization of African Americans.

Hell, my words, unlike Imus, has ruined lives and gotten innocent people killed, but I just keep getting bigger and more powerful. I can turn a minor lame comment by an aging windbag, that's way gentler than anything coming out of modern rap music, into a national controversy. If that isn't proof that I am destined to be your god on Earth, than I don't know what is.

So you have to remember these simple rules:

-I'm always right. Especially when I'm wrong.

-I can accuse anyone of anything whether it's true or not.

-No matter what, anyone who criticizes me is a filthy racist.

-I'm allowed be anti-Semitic and racist.

Why?

Because...

I'M AL SHARPTON BEEOTCH!

And don't you forget it.